i'm just sitting here, listening to some metal, even a little bit of stacy's mom, and thinking about some stuff...i just happened to come across a poem i wrote a few months ago, and it seems to be just fitting...here goes

2/6/04

the day is still young, dew rolls off the grasstips,
a morning mist shrouds my window as i rise from my slumber.
another day awaits its favorite victim, just to rip and harass,
i think today is the day, before god can call my number.

the thought of fate never appealed to me,
not being in control of my life, i just can't handle.
so try and control me now and chose my destiny,
the only memories will be my pictures placed carefully upon the mantle.

pain burns deep inside, tearing at my soul,
my heart i feel can take no more, hidden in shadow i stay.
shielded from those who i need most of all,
i wonder if i shall need them after i am gone the next day.

the world is such a large place, i should pick up and leave,
gone to a place where no one knows my past.
but this just seems to be my easy way out,
and tomorrow i fear will not come, for today will not last.

my friends, my family, they just don't see it,
and it will be best if they never know.
would i be missed, but for only a month,
i cannot reveal myself, or let my emotions show

so now is the time, i'm all alone in my room,
i think about everything lost and i gently close my eyes.
raising the gun, my hand cold on the trigger,
i drop it to the floor and begin to cry.........